Don't Worry, We Are Professionals
by PiichixChan
Summary: Reader & Friend Insert/Drabbles. Prompt: What If you did each Avengers makeup? Notes: These are all VERY stupid drabbles that my friend & I did, please don't take them too seriously! A bit of ReaderxCap and ReaderxNat shipping here, but thats because we are fangirls.


**Don't Worry, We Are Professionals**

_Prompt: What If we did each Avengers makeup?_

**Hawkeye**

"I'm sorry, I don't think I can fix this", [Friend] said with a look of horror on her face as she examined the catastrophe in plain sight in front of her. Hawkeye and [Reader] shot the same confused look at [Friend].

"There is no makeup on his face", [Reader] said in a matter-of-factly tone as she raised one eyebrow.

"I know, that's exactly the problem. I CAN'T WORK WITH THIS. NEXT", [Friend] yelled as she grabbed Hawkeyes shoulder and tried to push him out of the chair.

"Are you kidding me all this over Black Hawk", [Reader] muttered to herself. [Reader]'s mouth dropped open as she heard a hairbrush whirl past her head.

"WHAT WHERE WOULD YOU GET THAT IDEA. OUT", [Friend] yelled with a crazy sounding laugh as she shoved Hawkeye out the door, letting him fall on his face, "Yep that was some great work. Job well done".

"YOU SHOVED HIM OUT A DOOR WITH NO MAKEUP ON HIM", [Reader] protested in a shocked tone. She should have expected this from [Friend] by now.

"I KNOW, I AM SO PROUD", [Friend] exclaimed with a little jump of glee. If she did not get fired for this, she had no idea what they would fire her for.

**Hulk**

"Green eye shadow would be FABULOUS ON YOU GURLFRAND", [Friend] said with a sassy tone as she flicked some green powder on Hulk's human face. She stepped back and gave a satisfied smirk at her new twist on Bruce Banner. But before she could continue, [Reader] had walked over and started to wipe off all of the beautiful fabulous gay green power on his face.

"MORTAL. THE HELL ARE YOU DOING", [Friend] demanded putting one hand on her hip and doing a hipster pose. [Reader] rolled her eyes.

"Okay first, HE IS NOT GAY. Second, he's HUMAN NOT THE GREEN GIANT", [Reader] exclaimed as she finished her job of wiping off [Friend]'s 10 seconds of hard work. [Friend] crossed her arms and glared.

"Why don't you go on break? I heard Cap's nearby", [Friend] said with a Cheshire Cat grin. [Reader], being the fangirl she was, fell for it and ran into the door on her way out. Little did she know when she was gone [Friend] planned to make it rain green glitter and eyeshadow up in this bitch.

**Iron Man**

"[Reader], where the hell do we keep the shiny grey crap", [Friend] asked as she flicked some tan powder onto Iron Man's beard.

"He's not really made of Iron", [Reader] muttered. She had retreated to the corner of the room with a cup of tea and it had only been 5 minutes and 2 actors into the job.

"The hell do you know about Iron Man", [Friend] muttered and she settled for some grey glitter and smeared it on Iron Man's face and beard.

"Kid, I'm not looking like some idiot so you better do this right", Iron Man sassed as he smeared some of the glitter off his face.

"BITCH YOU WERE LIKE 5600 YEARS LATE GETTING HERE I DON'T CARE IF YOU ARE IRON MAN THIS IS MY DOMAIN NOW YOU SIT DOWN AND YOU KEEP THIS CRAP ON YOUR FACE YOU HEAR ME", [Friend] snapped as she flicked more powder onto his face angrily. Iron Man shut up after that, a bit terrified of the 90-pound blonde in front of him for reasons he did not understand. He left looking like the tin-man, but with way more swag.

**Thor**

"MOTHER OF GOD LOOK [READER] ITS YOUR LONG LOST MALE TWIN", [Friend] exclaimed as Thor walked in the door with a weary look on his face (he must of seen the previous 3 victims). [Reader] looked up from her Detective Conan manga and tea for a moment and politely waved to Thor.

"No you get down here and do your long lost brohams makeup", [Friend] ordered as she yanked [Reader] down from her cozy chair in the corner of the room. [Reader] flailed a bit in protest but was still dragged easily over to right by the makeup chair, which Thor was now sitting in.

"BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO MAKEUP!", she yelled as she looked around at all the oddly colored powders in awe.

"Glitter", was all [Friend] said before she walked out for break, "LATERS GUYS HAVE FUN HOMETACOS". [Reader] talked to Thor about Jane, and took an entire minute on the makeup. To be honest, she did a better job than all of [Friend]'s makeovers combined. Why? Because she did not use glitter.

**Coulson**

"ohmYGOD THE CAPTAIN AMERICA FANCLUB HAS REUINTED AT LAST", [Friend] exclaimed as Coulson's awesome butt walked into the makeup trailer. [Reader] ran over and gave him a high-five, happy to see her fan club buddy again. "HAVE YOU SEEN CAP'S NEW OUTFIT? OHMIGOSH!" [Reader] exclaimed with wide eyes as Coulson jumped up and down.

"OHMYGOD I HAVE ITS JUST SO PERFECT SO CAPTAIN SO AMERICA SO OHMYGOD", Coulson yelled with an increasingly heightened pitch.

"LADIES. WE NEED TO GET TO WORK", [Friend] exclaimed at the two jumping idiots and pushed Coulson into the chair. She then put some base and foundation on Coulson (Note: More work than all of the others combined) and stepped back.

"Needs something more", [Friend] muttered to herself. [Reader] laughed and looked at Coulson for like the 800th time in 2 minutes.

"We should just paint an American flag on your face and a bunch of hearts around it!", [Reader] said jokingly. Sadly, they all seemed to have forgotten [Friend] takes her crap seriously and by the time the flag and hearts were doodled on it was too late. But may I say, Coulson walked out of there looking like one badass fanboy.

**Maria Hill**

"NO. GET THE HELL OUT", [Friend] yelled as Maria walked in the Trailer. [Reader] snapped her fingers in a oh-no-you-did-not-bitch way and glared at the idiot that stood in the door.

"WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM THEY COULD OF ALL BEEN FRIENDS BUT YOU HAD TO MAKE A WAR AND LOOK YOU CANT EVEN KEEP THE SHIP IN THE AIR FOR LIKE 2 SECOND GET OUT UGHHHHH", [Reader] raged with hands clenched into fists. Maria just ran out of the fricking trailer and never looked back.

**Nick Fury**

"Jack Sparrow, lovely to see you here", [Friend] said with a polite smile as Nick walked in with a less-than-exited look on his face.

"Shut up and get it over with", Nick said as he sat down in the chair with an irritated sigh. [Reader] walked over, still fuming from her encounter with Hill.

"It will only take a moment. Have I ever mentioned how happy I am you took over S.H.I.E.L.D. just you are amazing I love you so much better than that Maria chick", [Reader] absentmindedly rambled as [Friend] put some cover-up and tone corrector on Fury. [Friend] tapped Nick's shoulder to let him know she was done, and he sprung up right away.

"Why thank you both", he said in a business like tone as he went to walk out of the trailer. As he reached the doorway, he suddenly turned around and shot a glare at [Friend], however.

"But if you ever call me Jack Sparrow again I will find you", he said with a serious tone. [Friend] retaliated it with a smile. [Reader], however, responded with, "WELL IF YOU EVER GO AWOL AGAIN AND LET MARIA RUN S.H.I.E.L.D. YOU ARE NOT EVEN GOING TO HAVE ONE EYE TO SEE US WITH". Both [Friend] and Nick stood there in shock at the unexpected outburst. Nick ran for it.

**Loki**

"YOU ARE NOT EVEN A GOOD GUY WHY AM I DOING YOUR MAKEUP WHY ARE YOU HERE SHOULDN'T YOU BEEN IN SOME SILENT FOREST OR SOME CRAP LIKE WHAT I DON'T EVEN", [Friend] exclaimed while waving one of her brushes around in the air getting powder everywhere.

"Just do it", [Reader] said with a slight look of disgust on her face as Loki waltzed in and just sat on the fricking chair like he owned the place that mofo. [Friend] smeared bronzer and the wrong color foundation all over his face to make him look like some male white-boy Snookie, and shoved him out the door.

"LOOKIN GREAT PRINCESS", were the last words he heard before a loud slam indicated they had kicked him out in a total of around 10 seconds. He then proceeded to put on his tiara and skip away into the sunset with his new mark of orange paint and fake tan.

**Black Widow**

"I QUIT MY JOB YOU DO IT", [Friend] yelled from under the marble counter. She had somehow managed to squeeze herself into a small compartment under the counter and did not seem to want to come out no matter how hard [Reader] tried.

"YOU IDIOT THIS IS LIKE YOUR WIFE WHAT ARE YOU DOING OHMIGOSH", [Reader] yelled as she yanked on [Friend]'s arm and failed once again to pull her out.

"NO DUDE I THINK I AM STUCK LIKE IM FRICKING SERIOUS IM STUCK OHGOD WHAT DO I DO IM GOING TO DIE ALONE", [Friend] yelled at [Reader] while flailing around the small box she was stuck in. [Reader] gave [Friend]'s arm a hard tug but let go but fell over backwards into a box of brushes when they heard the door slam open.

"Sorry for just barging in, but no one opened the door", Black Widow said in a cool tone as she strolled in and perched on the counter. The spot where [Friend] was stuck in was now deathly quiet; mainly because [Friend] was holding her breath.

"Okay, confession: I'm not the makeup artist. The actual makeup artist is BEING A TOTAL IDIOT AND GOT HERSELF STUCK RIGHT UNDERNEATH WHERE YOU ARE SITTING. IN A BOX", [Reader] said (well, yelled the last bit at the box where [Friend] was but still). A loud thud noise and an "OHMYGOD NO NO NO NO" confirmed there was something alive in the box named "[Friend]".

"Do you guys need some help?" Black Widow asked politely while gracefully jumping off the counter to stand up.

"NONONONONONO I'M GOOD I'M TOTALLY FINE [READER] YOU DO THIS IS THERE A WINDOW IN HERE", [Friend] yelled in a frantic voice as she tried to now worm her way more into the box. Black Widow did not seem to listen to a single word of that and pulled [Friend] out in one tug, leaving [Friend] sort of pancaked out on the floor on a done looking pose. [Reader] walked to guard the one window there.

"STOP PLAYING DEAD", [Reader] yelled as she threw a hairbrush at [Friend] to get her to stand up. [Friend] flopped over into Black Widow's arms but jumped up as soon as she realized this was wrecking her hair. And OHMYGOD IT WAS BLACK WIDOW SHE WAS GOING TO LIKE DIE.

"MY HAIR OHGOD", [Friend] yelled as she tried to smooth it out and walked in circles.

"It looks fine", Black Widow said with a small smile as she sat down in the cosmetic chair and pulled her hair back. [Friend] looked over to the window, and frowned when she saw her main escape route was blocked.

"Okay, uM THANK YOU SO MUCH JUST OHMYGOD IM LIKE YOUR BIGGEST FAN EVER OKAY I GOT STUCK IN THE BOX BECAUSE I WAS ALL LIKE OHMYGOD AND THEN [READER] WAS ALL LIKE OHMYGOD AND THEN WE WERE ALL LIKE OHMYGOD AND JUST OKAY", [Friend] exclaimed as she tried to get her makeup together. Black Widow just laughed at the bubbly personality of the blonde idiot doing her makeup and smiled a bit more.

After 8 hours ("IT NEEDS TO BE PERFECT"), 6 re-applations of lashes ("THEY NEED TO BE CENTERED OHGOD"), lots and lots of talking ("ACTION FIGURE WHAT ACTION FIGURE"), and about 5 tons of makeup the job was done and [Friend] seemed quite happy with her work. Well, she knew it would be perfect. She had planned the entire thing out about a year in advance. She was a skilled creeper.

**Captain America**

[Reader] was running around the room, hiding all traces of Detective Conan from existence and smoothing out her hair while [Friend] just stared blankly.

"Keep it cool [Reader] keep it cool you are normal you are not a fangirl who is Coulson what fanclub keep it cool gotta eat to live gotta steal to eat", [Reader] muttered in a zombie-like state as she ran around.

"THIS IS NOT ALLADIN GET YOUR CRAP TOGETHER YOUR MAN IS GOING TO BE HERE IN A BIT", [Friend] yelled as loudly as she could at [Reader] and threw another one of the conviently placed hairbrushes at [Reader]'s head.

"Was I doing something", [Reader] said as she snapped out of her trance thanks to the hairbrushes 'cognitive recalibration" and dropped the 5 billion manga books she was holding.

"I think you were trying to look normal for Cap", [Friend] said while looking at a picture she had just took a few minutes ago with Black Widow. At the mention of the word "Cap" [Reader] lost it and just fell into the pile of Konan, however. It took [Reader] a few moments to reset her brain, but when she did she clenched her fists in determination and shouted "FOR AMERICA" and she galloped out of the book pile and stood up with her hand on her heart like she did for the pledge. [Friend] held back every comment she wanted to make at that exact moment and settled for letting her mouth hang open in a what-have-i-done-jesus-take-the-wheel expression. Right then, they heard a soft and considerate knock at the door.

"TIME TO CLAIM YOUR MAN", [Friend] yelled as she shoved the still flustered [Reader] to the door. [Reader] grabbed the doorknob in a panic to try and not fall, but ended up pushing the handle down so she opened the door and fell right into Captain America himself. [Reader] froze like a capsicle (#PUNNY) in his arms and he gave a hearty laugh as he carefully pulled her back up to a standing position.

"Well look who it is. What a pleasure it is to see you again. How are you?", Captain America said with a smile as he lead [Reader] inside. He was still a bit afraid she would lose her balance again.

"I'm doing fine just some cleaning you know sorry for the mess and just its so nice to see you again YOU LOOK AWESOME TODAY BY THE WAY LOVING THE NEW COSTUME IT MAKES YOU SEEM SO MANLY", [Reader] rambled as she tried to avoid tripping over the pile of manga and failed. Captain America carefully caught her and then sat down in the cosmetic chair, seeming to not mind the manga or the rambling. Since [Reader] and Captain America had become friends, he had gotten used to her flustered introductions and seemed genuinely happy to be around the two idiots doing his makeup.

"Don't you dare use glitter", [Reader] said sternly to [Friend] with a slight glare on her face. [Friend] laughed and looked up from her picture to answer.

"I'm done for the day. YOUR TIME TO SHINE", [Friend] exclaimed with a fangirly giggle at the end as she hugged her picture. That idiot.

[Reader] looked in shock for a moment before pulling herself together, knowing [Friend] would put glitter on his face if she did not do his makeup herself and HE WAS NOT GAY OKAY HE DID NOT NEED GLITTER (Well, according to [Reader] and Coulson). Captain America gave [Reader] a encouraging and genuine smile.

"You will do fine, us men don't need much makeup", he said in a kind voice. [Reader] trembled a bit as she mimicked what she had seen [Friend] doing, and put a bit of foundation and evener on his face to give him an even tone. It only took a few minutes, but looked surprisingly good when she was done.

"There, is this okay?", [Reader] asked him with a proud look on her face. She had done her man good in the makeup department. He grinned and nodded at his now almost-as-flawless-as-Black-Widow's skin in the mirror.

"Perfect! I should stop by here more often, this looks perfect", he said happily as he stood up and headed towards the door.

"I have to get to work, but it was lovely seeing you again", he said to [Reader]. [Friend] cleared her throat from the corner of the room. "And you as well, [Friend]", he said as he gave a farewell wave at the two. [Reader] fainted the moment he turned around.


End file.
